| Officially the worst day of my life: |
[Jul. 8th, 2008|07:51 pm] |
Botched a phonecall with Anish Fucking Kapoor (an incredibly famous and talented artist and our biggest client), learned that my grand uncle, one of my favorite people in the world, is on his deathbed and chose not to go see him so a skeleton wouldn't be my last memory of him, and just got still-want-to-be-friends dumped by one of TWO people I have to hang out with in Oakland. FUUUUUCKKKKK.
I do still want to be friends. Jonah is an incredibly valuable and close friend, but I was really starting to think that after six months, it might have been the real thing and I could maybe start letting myself fall in love with him. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2008|02:58 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
There's a big fire in Bonny Doon and the smoke is slowly encroaching on my apartment. It made for quite the sensational sunset, and made me remember being five or six and sleeping in my clothes those nights during the Oakland Hills fire, in case we had to evacuate. Suddenly, I remembered everything about that first night-my old bedroom in my old house, collecting leaves outside that afternoon, my velcro shoes, Benji the person-sized teddy bear I used to sleep with and how he smelled...it was amazing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2008|02:48 am] |
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Also, I've realized that I pretty much only write in here when it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm lonely, exhausted and irrational. I will try to ameliorate that. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2008|02:38 am] |
Another overwhelmed 2:30-ish post.
I'm tired in a sleepless sort of way. Trying not to think too hard about graduating or maybe not graduating, or about how clear it is that I like the boy I am dating more than he likes me and how I've refused to let that thought out of the back of my mind until right now, or about how desperately I miss being in love because it's been almost four years since the last time, or about how my best friends are changing in ways I don't understand, or about how I've stopped answering my phone and how I'm just not capable of understanding my future. I'm a little panicked, and a little lonely, and far too uncertain.
I just need something solid. I need to not live with my parents again. And I really need to never, ever have my heart broken again. I need the voice of reason, but for some reason, I just can't conjure Richie Havens' soothing baritone telling me everything's fine in my head like I normally do when I need to hear the voice of reason. |
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| if nobody really cares, is it still a mystery? |
[Mar. 14th, 2008|04:25 am] |
It's almost 4:30 am. I've JUST gotten back from the studio and crawled into bed. Usually now I'd be really proud of myself for being dedicated enough to stay late and get my shit done, but the fact that the four prints I have up are all somewhere between mediocre and subpar is sort of negating that. Nonetheless, I have prints up. That is a fucking MIRACLE.
Now to endure tomorrow's criticisms at open studios...should be fun. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 27th, 2008|11:11 pm] |
 
I started this litho stone almost a year ago, and have been staring at it ever since. I am not a big fan of lithography, but I swear to god if I don't print this stupid thing it will kill me. I have dreams about it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2008|12:16 am] |
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I just finished a book I've been picking up sporadically for a year. I miss it already. |
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| SO INFURIATING. |
[Feb. 10th, 2008|05:46 pm] |
I just spent nine hours in the studio and only got two crappy prints out of it. Neither is acceptable, but both will have to be turned in tomorrow for critique.
I just can't seem to get my shit together this quarter. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 3rd, 2008|11:13 am] |
My dog has leukemia. We've been told she has about two weeks left, but the second week will be painful, so we're putting her down next Friday before she starts getting uncomfortable. Nobody in my house has been able to stop crying for the last week. My aunt said, "I know it's sad, but it's only a dog".
She's not only a dog. She's nicer than any person I've ever met. She's like my baby sister, except that we've never had a fight, she's never annoyed me or stolen my clothes and she has loved me unconditionally for more than ten years. My sister's love is pretty conditional, I think.
It's not like I'm a crazy dog person. I don't have sweaters with spaniels embroidered on them, or magnets with dogs and cute sayings on them. It's just that Lizzie has been my best friend for almost half my life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2007|03:02 am] |
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It's actually storming outside! My whole apartment is rattling and the rain is driving on the windows! It's awesome! |
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[Dec. 6th, 2007|02:51 am] |
Also: HOW HAVE I LIVED THIS LONG WITHOUT HAVING AN E.L.O. OBSESSION?
Seriously. "Jungle" is maybe the best song ever. Particularly for 2:00 AM printmaking dance sessions.
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| ask any fool that she ever knew |
[Dec. 6th, 2007|02:29 am] |
It's 2:30 in the morning, and I just got home from the studio. Same thing last night, 1:30 the night before. And I fucking love it. I'd just do printmaking forever if I could.
I made some pretty good prints this quarter. If you want to see them, they'll be up on Friday for open studios. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 26th, 2007|11:48 am] |
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I quit my job! And tomorrow's my birthday! And life is good! |
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| I need a lover with SOUL POWER. |
[Nov. 15th, 2007|12:48 pm] |
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HOLY CRAP I forgot how much fun Of Montreal shows are! I have probably never danced so hard in my life. Honestly. So many sequins and tiger masks and crazy Ed Sullivan-esque stage apparatus, and Kevin was just so delightful. I'm a little in love with him. |
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| to all my darling friends- |
[Nov. 3rd, 2007|12:43 am] |
Y'all-
My most wonderful and outstanding printmaking mentor and friend, Paul Ritscher, is at a memorial for his brother Malachi this weekend. I did a little research, and found that Malachi was an incredible guy, who lit himself on fire as a final act of protest against a vast slew of horrors he couldn't reconcile himself with. And it never made the news.
His voice really deserves to be heard. He wrote his own obituary. You can read it at http://www.savagesound.com/gallery100.htm, and I hope you will. The truth is, I love Paul, and I think he'd be more at peace with his brother's death if he knew his message was being heard. So please hear it. Please.
love,
Sarah |
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| I do not know my own way to the sea, but the saltiest sea knows its own way to me |
[Oct. 6th, 2007|12:30 am] |
It is late at night, and I cannot sleep. I suddenly remembered this song my mom used to sing to me when I was little, and found these lyrics to it, but can't find a recording anywhere, and I just feel like all I need in the world is to hear this song. If I could hear her sing this right now, everything would be wonderful and I could sleep.
Baby owlet, purple owlet
Singing as dawn shines above.
Won't you lend me your swift pinion
Won't you lend me your swift pinion
Won't you lend me your swift pinion
That I may fly to my love.
Tetra coo coo coo
Tetra coo coo coo
Tetra coo coo coo
Baby owlet, poor little owlet.
He is tired from crying so.
If I were a baby owlet
I would never steal away.
If I were a baby owlet
I would never steal away.
Till my wings were strong and steady
Till my wings were strong and steady
Till my wings were strong and steady
Safe within my nest I'd stay.
Safe within my nest I'd stay.
Tetra coo coo coo
Tetra coo coo coo
Tetra coo coo coo
Baby owlet poor litle owlet
He is tired from crying so. |
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| come all ye people wherever you roam and admit that the waters around you have grown |
[Oct. 5th, 2007|07:16 pm] |
Just came home from Alex's gallery show. Spent a while sobbing pathetically in my room, called Sophie for some affirmation, and am now determined to do a really spectacular print.
It's SO HARD living with an artist as incredible as Alex. She's a professional. She's selling her artwork to OBEY and RVCA for thousands. She's so. much. better. than I am. Sitting there in the gallery, listening to everybody ooh and ahh over her stuff was so hard. Especially knowing that nobody will ever ooh and ahh over my artwork like that. I love her to death, truly, but I can't help but compare myself to her constantly and it's so taxing. |
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skyscraping_sin's journal
